Givelove,
That really is the crux of the problem, to give up on not just old habits, but parts of our personality. The fear and anxiety seem to come out of nowhere, and come out constantly and persistently. Part of therapy is finally seeing habits in oneself that are so ingrained as to be part of the air we breath. I look back and the fear is part of almost every memory, but I have only really just realized that it is part of every memory. It is like someone turned on a light and one looks around and suddenly realizes that there are doors you can walk through, and one's footsteps have been going in circles for years.
It is easier to turn the light off. To make progress the light has to stay on, glare and all.
It is great, no really it is wicked (there's that New England lingo) awesome that you have seen some progress, and that you have helped others like me. Let me just, san emoticon/smiley, give a hug back to say thanks and hope your day goes good. ****{Givelove}}}}
Left, Right, Left, Right.......