i feel your pain. i am sorry u are still going thur this. you have to feel your feelings & walk thur this to get over it. have you tried any face to face meetings? they could help you. you could also get a sponsor. keep coming back here & read. keep the focus on you. try finding a hobby, meet new people, just do the thing that you like to do. you deserve good things in your life. i am saying a prayer for you,let me know how u are.