I am still trying to hang in there with the ' No Contact ' , its been almost 2 months now. I know I am right about the 'no contact' and apparently so is he because I havent heard a peep from him either. I just know that from my past experiences with his addictions that he isn't done with them and I don't know if or when he will be. I just know that he will no longer manipulate and use me again. I also know that his time to 'use' is coming up again very soon, I know this because every year we have been together he uses at a certain time of the year ( for what reasons I do not know) . This is the reason I refuse to contact him because he will try and use me to save him once again and I will be dragged down with him again.
I don't want to be part of any more drama, I've had enough! What bothers me is the hurt I still feel everyday. I am in counseling every week and I'm not sure its helping. I still cry almost everyday and I still hurt real bad. He is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night. How long does it take for all this to go away?
I thought it would get better with no contact but with no contact I am not getting better either. I'm not sure which is worse?
Some days I almost cave in but when I think about whats coming then that stops me. Its just so crazy.
I've been reading all the latest posts to help me and I feel for every ones pain.
:praying