[QUOTE=chiynita;1914972]
Anyway. 90 days for the first time since I was a teenager I am sure.
I couldnt have done it without the support of my family and all of you here.
I thought I was forever going to be plaued by crack. I seriously saw no way out for a very long time. And honestly..Now..It seems like it is so distant.
I often thought that me not having a car had everything to do with me not using. But that is not entirely true. I had a car a few times here in the past few months. And at the same time as payday. And I didnt even feel the urge to go. I have had thoughts. But they are gone as fast as they come.
What seemed so normal before seems so out of the ordinary now.
I truely believe I finally hit that point of being so sick and tired of it. That it is just over. No miracles..no complex procedures. Just done.
QUOTE]
These are beautiful words. Thank you for sharing how you have left your past where it belongs - behind you - while acknowledging the deep sadness all of us addicts feel when we realize what made us use in the first place. That awkwardness and/or boredom; that feeling of not belonging because we were better and/or worse than others; that hatred and/or fear of others; that feeling of "Is that all there is?"
I can completely relate to that strange feeling of sadness. It comes out of the blue for me - it's typically related to feeling sad over missing "normal" experiences: getting married; being a normal kid; being a normal woman; having normal friends; being loved like normal people are. I understand that ... but, don't let me put words in your mouth if I am totally off-base about what you're talking about.
Keep up the good fight.
Love,
Sugarscar(s)