Finally made 90 days.
I cant tell you the last time I have been clean this long. I really never have been more than a month or 2.
I was excited earlier. But now I am just a little sad for some reason.
I am having a little social anxiety too. I make friends pretty easy. And I have alot of people at work that I consider work friends. But I was asked to go to a Halloween party by someone at work. Where alot of people from work will be. And my whole mood changed. I dont know what it is about being outside of work.
This happened before with this kid I worked with for 2 yrs. Me and him were best friends at work. We were really tight at work. But when we hung out outside of work. It was like we didnt know what to do or say alot of times. It was just different. I dont know why.
I hope it isnt like this all the time.
Anyway. 90 days for the first time since I was a teenager I am sure.
I couldnt have done it without the support of my family and all of you here.
I thought I was forever going to be plaued by crack. I seriously saw no way out for a very long time. And honestly..Now..It seems like it is so distant.
I often thought that me not having a car had everything to do with me not using. But that is not entirely true. I had a car a few times here in the past few months. And at the same time as payday. And I didnt even feel the urge to go. I have had thoughts. But they are gone as fast as they come.
What seemed so normal before seems so out of the ordinary now.
I truely believe I finally hit that point of being so sick and tired of it. That it is just over. No miracles..no complex procedures. Just done.
Thanks all of you for always being there. Especially when I wasnt so pleasant to have around. Alot of you never gave up on me.
I am so grateful for all of you.