I'm sorry you're having this trouble. But there's nothing so bad that drinking can't make it worse. I've been feeling more depressed than usual lately and one of the first (automatic) thoughts is to run to the bottle, to get numb and unfeeling. Fortunately my automatic response, by now, is to tell that 'bottle voice' to BACK OFF!
Any possibility of some volunteer work for a while? Something you like and feel comfortable with, and something that may have potential to turn into a paying job? If you could at least find something you like to occupy your time then maybe it would help keep the negative thought patterns away.
I honestly don't know what to say to comfort you, but I never run out of hugs and love!
:ghug3 Don't despair Felly! This too shall pass... I just can't say when.