Oh there was one more.. this one might not mean as much in your situation as I clearly don't know all the in's and out's. I just suspect if you say your dealing with manipulation, emotional and mental abuse that this might apply to you.. It hit the nail on the head for me and although I haven't made the hard choice to leave yet reading this tells me I've pretty much left already.
25. As you think about your partner’s disrespect, is it clear to you that you do everything possible to limit your contact with your partner, except for times where you absolutely must interact?
Guideline
If your partner is all too often too disrespectful to you and you realize that you do everything possible to limit your contact with your partner, except those times where you absolutely must interact, then the level of disrespect has spoiled the atmosphere of your relationship and you’ll he happy if you leave. Quick Take: The water’s too bad to drink when you find you’ve stopped drinking it.
Extra Outline From Book-
•Every time you think about something and it occurs to you to share you though with your partner and you don’t, you’re limiting your contact with him.
• Every time you want to ask him a question and you don’t, you’re limiting your contact with him.
• Every time you want to tell him about some small triumph or disaster in your life and you don’t, you’re limiting your contact with him.
• Every time you think of the two of you doing something together and yet don’t even bring it up, you’re limiting your contact with him.
• Every time there’s a real opportunity for some kind of intimacy and you let the opportunity slip past, you’re limiting your contact with him.
• Every time there’s a decision to be made, instead of discussing it with him you just go ahead and make the decision on your own, you’re limiting your contact with him.
If your partner’s disrespect makes you feel so unsafe that you stay away from him in ways like these, then it’s time you gave yourself permission to physically leave a relationship you’ve emotionally left already.