I can't say why your sponsor said/did those things, it doesn't seem to be a very diplomatic way of handling your problems. Only thing I know for sure is the "hard work" you need to do is your responsibility and only you can work on those issues. Your former sponsor seems to be lacking in compassion and empathy.
I don't know that having a "sponsor" is essential, only that if you have someone you trust in the program who can guide you thru these issues, by all means go for it.
I wish you the best in your life. I pray you find some peace very soon.
:ghug3