Hi. Thank you for posting. I too lost my alcoholic Mom at a young age, she was 57.
All I can say is that you have to give yourself time. My Mom has been dead 11 years next week, and it still hurts but it honestly does get better. Let yourself grieve and realize that you will never understand this horrible disease. Remember that she loved you the best that she could and try to focus on the good stuff.
Big hugs,
Karen