Originally Posted by
outtolunch 
It seems that the source of your frustration and crazies is that he is not participating in the we part. Know what I mean?
Most people can go through life with the fantasy that they have some sort of control over what other people do. Those of us who love an addict are put in the position of realizing that we have no control over anyone other than ourselves and man oh man, that can be frustrating.
What might be the outcome, if you substituted "I" for the "we" part and faced your own demons, head-on, instead of remaining dependent upon someone else's participation?
That is great advice. And whatever the turn out is with "us"... then it is. That is what I kept telling myself today.... "it is what it is"..... asking myself about my part and role in all of this. Just clean my act up.... focus on me...... quit it with him and his issues.
I am less obsessive now than before- UNTIL I am faced with the evidence of lies. Then I totally lose it. I just boil inside and then re-act. So - I figure if I don't ask... don't look... just BE in MY reality..... work MY recovery .... then all is good in the hood with me.