(((((shellygirl))))) I am touched by your thread. I am also sorry. I am going through the same thing right now. It's hard to just turn off a switch and say I don't love my STBXAH. I had such hope for him. I still do love him, but I am not in love with him. I can't give my heart to a man who has chosen alcohol time and time again. I had such hope for us, but one person cannot carry a marriage. I hope in time you will feel there is some light for you in this sad story. I see it sometimes and have hope in a better future for myself. I know there was none with him. Take care.