LaTeeDa,
I enjoyed reading you long post. lol Like my mother, yours is a peace keeper. Although you didn't mention it, I'll bet she didn't care too much about the update on your life or your kids. She was mainly focused on convincing you of your brother's recovery. Trying again, as she always does, to keep the peace. Ration the contact with your mother. The pace must be slow enough to keep a handle on your own self worth. As you say, your kids depend on it. You are right to be defensive. You must protect your own strengths, more importantly your weaknesses. Sobriety does open our eyes. It also protects us from falling. With all her faults, she is still your mother. This helps me with my dad. "the key to your emotions is understanding" I love my dad very much because I understand him. He has always been that way. I've got to take him for what he is, good and bad. Growing up with my father was interesting. He ignored us kids unless we did something wrong. Although the attention was negative, we desired attention. It turns out that all of us kids were always in trouble, go figure. As an adult I realize now what had happened. Our need for attention from our parents is such a driving force that we'll almost do anything for it. Now why couldn't he figure that out! I guess he couldn't see the forest for the trees. I hope you and your mother agree to disagree. I hope your brother has learned his lesson and takes the right road in life. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can sift through all the bull and love yourself and all that is around you. Prayers