Hi Weary
Drugs ain't my thing, just alcohol was.
Didn't want to leave you with no replies though so here goes.
Try breaking it down, take one day at a time, keep posting, let us know how your doing.
You'll get there, takes time, gets easier and better as you go.
my advice for what its worth.
1. Stay clean one day at a time.
2. Post spaces in your next post, that big chunk of writing was a bugger to read !!!!
Look after yourself
Good luck