((((alli)))))
I am sorry you are going thru this. I have 4 crack addicts(my H, 2 brothers and a sister) in my life and I have never found anything that helped any of them stay clean.
I know that sick feeling Xs 4.
I can be more detached about my siblings because I do not live with them. It is my H that it is hardest to do what is right for me because we are in the same space.
I have tried controlling his money and spending and it just doesn't work for me because he always seems to talk me out of it by guilting me and other tactics.
I don't have anymore time for his addiction or my siblings either I have heard every lie in the book.
What I have learned by trying to control his money and spending is that it keeps him from taking responsibility for himself. If he can't control himself that is his problem not mine. If he wants to get clean he will make his own efforts that don't involve me. All my involvement in trying to get him clean has just made me end up on the short end of the stick and I want to be in a better position than that.
Take care of yourself keep the focus on what you need to do for yourself to make your life good. If he really wants to get clean he won't be expecting you to control what he does.
Addicts are notorious for setting up someone else to take responsibility for them... don't fall for it. He is going to do what he wants no matter what you do believe that much please.