If you have been lurking here for a while, as I did, I found that one of the main suggestions is Al-Anon. Now, I am not going to tell you that I go all the time...in fact, I tend to be a bit sporadic with it, BUT...when I actively participated in Al-Anon, I felt a sense of relief and control of my life.
Perhaps in addition to posting, you can try going. It helps enoromously. I am in the process of separating from my AH...like your situation, my AH is a good person when not drinking his personality away. Al-Anon and these forums help us take our eyes off the alcoholic and put them on ourselves. You CAN live your life again...this doesn't mean leaving the alcoholic if this isn't one of your intentions...it just means living for you.
Hugs to you...keep coming back!:ghug3