Hey there LouLou,
I'm not sure how I feel about the destinction between a heavy drinker and a real alcoholic. Not sure I buy that there is a marked difference, but I respect that perspective and think the root causes of depression/anxiety/alcoholism need to be addressed in most people who have taken to heavy drinking. I was like you in that I started drinking in college for fun and to ease the awkwardness of freshman year of college.
Never connected my destructive drinking patterns with traumatic events from the past until recently. When I was a soph in high school my house got struck by lightening when I was inside of it and i watched it burn to the ground afterwards. Didn't feel much after the event itself. I also had a really intense relationship with my dad - he yelled at me and criticized me a lot.
Anyway, the point is that the events of my childhood/teenage years contributed to the anxiety i felt/feel as an young adult. So I guess they would serve as root causes. I've also faced a lot of adversity because I am an openly lesbian woman. In any case I turned to the bottle as a result of past and present stress. You might be experiencing the same thing for sure. I can't believe you were at Columbine on the day of the shootings! So glad you are okay and congrats for you sobriety
