Bostonluv;
"Even my worst days sober are still better than when I was actively drinking"
is not true for everybody. After being sober for about 6 weeks I had the gun, the bullet, the towel and the park bench all picked out to commit suicide. The look in my dog's eyes was the only thing that stopped me.
I never once consciously though of suicide while drinking, although not eating and living on 2 bottles of vodka per day was something very close to it.
I once heard Chris R give a talk about how he felt the same way. Some of us would rather be dead than live with the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Terror, frustration, bewilderment & despair).
It was not until I learned to treat my root causes that sobriety was worth having.
True sobriety rides on the coat-tails of serenity.