Anger from the past
I learned something this week. Anger about past events is not a bad thing! What do you know? Not wallowing, but allowing myself to feel the anger and hurt when I remember something from my marriage that was hurtful, upsetting, inconsiderate, etc. that I didn't let myself feel at the time.
For the last week or so, these things just come floating thru my mind, and instead of "trying to see it from the other side" or telling myself it's over, nothing to do about it, I've been letting myself see it from a "healthier" point of view. Picturing how I would feel and react with what I know now - and sometimes that is anger. Not screeching screaming mimi anger, just plain and simple anger or hurt or whatever, that the situation was unwarranted, uncalled for, unfair, unkind, unloving, etc. Then, after I picture how I would react now - which is I'm angry (hurt, confused, etc.), I'm not going to accept whatever it is and I put it back on my AH in my mind and I don't let him convince me to alter my reality or turn my mind and heart into a pretzel to make it fit into his lies, and I feel better. I then let it float out of mind, just as it came in, knowing that I now have a better radar and better tools, that I now own my feelings and I no longer will deny or alter reality. I can truly let it go.
I don't think I've said thank you in a while to all of you, that I am so grateful for all the help, support, understanding and wisdom that you all of given me. I'm still on my path, I'm still working, I'm still learning, and I am so happy to be sharing my journey with all of you!
:ghug