day 24. should be happy right? WRONG
Today is day 24, not the longest I have ever gone without booze, went 3 months last year. I cant seem to get in the groove of things..I feel like I am in a movie or something..like I am just going throught the motions....Suprisingly the craving to drink has not been the hardest part, but this weird out of body feeling I have..Anyone else go throught this..I know I need a sponser, but every meeting I go to, it seems like no one really makes their availability known, do I have to just walk up to everyone and ask if they are? I get suprisingly shy and anxious at meetings and find the thought of making smallish talk with the women before or after the meetings makes me not want to go at all...AHH whats wrong with me! Last time I didnt work the program which I am pretty sure is why after 3 months I started drinking again...I really want life long sobriety..I thought sober meant clarity, living in the moment, but I can stop dwelling on the past and this foggy day to day...Any wisodom out there? Thanks,