My XAB's mom is his biggest enabler. She always makes comments about him drinking too much, but that is as far as she gets. Hell, she serves him the drinks while he is in the jacuzzi. I realize now why she enables him. Even though he is a drunk. He is functional. He works and is responsible with his bills. He supports her and pays her rent. So, she walks on egg shells. She cannot stand up to him because she is afraid he will cut all financial support to her. In your case, she is probably afraid he will cut emotional strings with her, so she enables him.