Hi Maggie,
Another mom checking in. You are doing the right thing for both of you. He is where he needs to be right now. His HP will take care of him, and yours is there for you too.
Someone said take it one day at a time, but sometimes that is to much, so take it one minute at a time. The minutes add in and you will start taking one day at a time.
I agree Nar-anon or Al-Anon helps, I attend meetings and have grown so much in my recovery.
It hurts so much because it is our children and we always want to help them even when it hurts them.
Stay strong attend meetings and come back here as often as you have to.
Hugs