been there, didn't do that
being on both ends of the spectrum, long using career, death and destruction, 9 years being clean/sober, relapsing, 6 months now, does not make me an expert by any means, but i spent a year in rebab and i would never dream of treating the people who stood by me through it all the way you are being treated. we were told the same things, selfish program, sobriety/clean comes first, etc. BUT, BUT, BUT through working the STEPS THOUROUGHLY AND HONESTLY and THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION and YOUR HIGHER POWER is where you learn you can't be happy, joyous and free and treat the people who love you like dirt, like you treated them while using. the steps and GOD taught me that my sobriety DID NOT GIVE ME LICENSE TO IGNORE, SHUT OUT, AND TREAT BADLY, ANYONE. especially my husband. the steps taught me not only how to stay clean, but how to be responsible, kind and loving, humility, repect not only for myself but more importantly for others, especially for the others i hurt and damaged, why in the world would i want to be sober/clean if i was going to treat people the same as i did while using or worse? why even bother? we don't have the right to even look at our loved ones sideways. we can stay clean and sober working an honest spiritual program, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of our loved ones. we should be trying to make things right not worse, we should be thanking these people and have a hell of a lot of gratitude that they are still there.
it sounds like i was in a whole different program than everyone else.