Well I think part of the problem is that everything about me has always been a little different. And ever since I was a kid I have known this. It may not be bad and my friends and most family have no problem with my eccentricities because I am who I am. (ok I'm REALLY into science and my house is like a mad scientist/naturalist/artist hang out) But when I met my XABF he said he loved all those things about me because he said they made me different from the other females that were around.
After many years all of those things about me are what he always bitched about and said ruined our realtionship. I guess I feel that maybe sometimes I am a little too out there and I actually find myself feeling ashamed. I don't want to feel ashamed of the things I love and I still hear his voice just ridiculing me and picking at everything I cared about. Get over it already! I know...wish I could just erase it. Kinda the same feeling you get when you remember your dad asking you if your stupid...
It is over for us and has been for a long time but I really have a hard time knowing that he came to hate everything about me. I feel afraid to meet anyone else now. I feel it could happen again. I think people just say what they think you want to hear to get at you and then when they are done they throw it all in your face. I'm frozen in this thought pattern. I have to wait for a new counselor and my new shrink is a total moron. Sorry but he is!