sailorjohn

Little background, have been involved with her for a little over two years. She's been doing this-and I won't get into the specifics of her 'behaviors' the whole time I've know her. Things she does in addition to the drinking/drugging. I am pretty much firmly convinced that she binges on crack or powder cocaine.

And I've known in my gut about the behaviors/addict s**t for most of the two years, have tried to control this thing, what we codies do, try to control the other. Ignoring the most basic idea, in healthy relationships the concept of boundaries is never even discussed, these are things that are just taken for granted. The thing that really struck me in the end, would watch her struggle with her 8 year old daughter over the concept of boundaries, the girl would be told not to do something, she would suffer the inevitable consequence, the little girl would go into a protracted tantrum over the outcome. My ex would do the exact same thing with me.

My problem was I never stuck to my guns, the most troubling thing is that neither of us noticed-at least I never did, can't speak for her-how similar the whole scenario was. And this is something you should never have to do with an adult, these were things you should have learned as a child. As someone else mentioned, I'm inclined to agree, the relationship was more of an addiction than anything else. So, I should be handling it like I handle my alcoholism, don't take the first drink!