(((Baxter)))
As is said here often...love the child hate the addict.
You haven't seen the "child" in a long time, its not wonder you see and hear and feel the addict when you even think of your daughter.
I vote detach, completly, if thats what you need to get back on track.
Its not mean, and its not un-motherly. It may be the only way to ever hope to have a relationship with her down the road.
Your not a bad mom, Baxter
((((Hugs)))