Welcome Ostara!
I am impressed you have done 36 days!
I have had more and more thoughts like that myself lately. I’m on day 33. I just keep telling myself how the one thing going right, the thing that I am in complete control of, is my sobriety. That, and I keep reading here on SR. I can’t express how much help it is to me.
Maybe everything else is iffy or bad, but drinking would just wreck my one “shining” accomplishment. Besides, it won’t fix the other things. They’ll be just as bad or worse. I have to re-learn how to deal with life’s disappointments and stresses.