SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

09-01-2008, 11:50 AM

# 4 (permalink)

scorpiogirl

Member

Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: Earth School

Posts: 137

You CAN do this! Reach out....

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl39

I go to therapy and Al-anon and try to work everything, but I feel like I am drowning. I have no family or friends to help.

Since you go to Alanon, even if you're not "tight" with the women, I really urge you to reach out and tell people exactly what you need.

Which is: visitors at the hospital, phone calls, etc. Maybe someone can bring a chicken over so you don't have to cook, and you make some out-reach phone calls. People like to help - that's what we do! We're caretakers!

I don't have any family either and I have to rely strictly on program people - my family of choice. You CAN do this!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenEyedGirl39

Since we were "getting along", I made a joke and said, I want to be treated like the queen I am. He said something to the effect that if you weren't so sick all of the time, maybe you would. God that hurt. I was crushed and began to cry.....6 weeks I'll be in a hospital bed and at his mercy.

Ohhhh, dear. I know that hurt yet, (gulp), that's not the kind of thing to say. It translates as, "he's not treating you the way you want to be treated and he's not doing it right". (which is probably so but hey....) I used to do that allll the time and my then boyfriend finally had the courage to tell me it makes him feel he isn't doing enough yet pointing it out to him didn't make it any better. He was right cause when I got honest with myself, he wasn't doing enough. I had to back off.

And lastly, you're only at his mercy if you allow yourself to be.

Call some women. Be real with them. Tell them you're scared to reach out but you really, really need a friend. The first word of the first step is "we". "We are powerless....." "We" don't do this thing alone".

BIG hugs and blessings - you can do this! I'm rootin' for ya!