in need of some help...
I do apologize if this is strictly a forum for recovering substance abusers... I have come to the point where I can't live like this anymore... Maybe someone can relate to me and give me some feedback
I'm 28... and I've been an alcoholic on and off for 5 years...
I work as a manager in customer service (GREAT JOB), Im friendly, nice, very personable, attractive (VERY MODESTLY) and most of the time I have a smile on my face. (I dont drink at work) I have a great sense of humor and can laugh at anything, mostly myself. The people I work with are like my family which is a blessing now a days. I have a great family that would do anything for me at anytime... I am lucky to have good people in my life as well as a good family... I couldn't ask for more... but...
I'm an alcoholic... I've stopped a few times with in the 5 years but not long...
I've lost everything in a sense... who i am, interests... I was thinking about it today... I dont enjoy life anymore and all I think about is going home to drink! My life has gone to the bottle... Some days I dont even remember things... thats not me... but for some reason I drink till I cant function...alone...I am a completely different person when I drink... an awful person... not like the average who can have a drink and get giddy and lovey... i get nasty and angry... which is not me...
I used to love the person and my appearance... I'm a mess... from drinking so much...
I wake up EVERY morning and hate who I am, but yet I still have a loving boy friend who loves me and wakes up to me smelling like stale booze...ugh
I say to myself everyday that I wake up that this is the day... this is the day that Im not goin to drink anymore... but yet... i continue.
I'm dying