Aysha

Sorry for posting so many threads. I have been in a little funk this weekend.
I think it has to do with being bored. I dont get like this during the week when I work.

Anyway. I have replaced my addiction with food.
I have always liked to eat. Dont walk in my house without expecting to be offered something to eat a million times. Grams will make you eat or bug the **** out of you. LOL.

But its not just the eating. I will go nuts and have the same thoughts about eating as I did with getting high.
I changed my eating habits all last week and did really good. Lost a few pounds. But when I got all down this weekend. I had that same F it thinking about eating. I dont care I need to do something. Thats what I thought to myself.
I am already big as hell. And it isnt helping my back none I am sure. Although I am learning to like myself again. This weight is disgusting and is a huge esteem issue. I was a stick all my life until I got heavy in my addiction about 10 yrs ago. I gained well over 100lbs smoking crack like a maniac. I thought it was the other way around.
Cops use to ask me in Florida when they saw me in the street what the hell my grams was feeding me. Being out there like I was and getting fatter.

I cant get any bigger and really need to lose aot of this weight. It is getting to a crucial health issue point now.
I dont want to end up dieing with a heart attack from being fat. Or getting sugar.
I am lazy too. I really need to get more active. When I get a car again I am joining the Y and start swimmming a few times a week and doing cardio. Plus I need to stay commited to my eating changes. Swimming seems like a good way to get started without getting bored. I get bored just walking on a treadmill. You know what I mean?

Anyway..Anyone have any ideas?