Ananda~I really get what you are talking about. I completely agree with IO, Dee, Jules...but what I think in my head doesn't always translate to what comes out of my mouth. Someone recently asked me out---first time in a long time as drinking is my "invisible potion" (as in I drink and then I am invisible). I was only a few weeks sober at the time and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Looking like an idiot. In public. This guy had already asked me what I was doing for the evening. Instead of keeping it simple and walking away, I bumbled through this long-winded speech which basically amounted to "Nothing much." He told me he loves to go drinking. Then he asked me to dinner. I then bumbled about some more and told him I "have plans". Except I had just told him I didn't have plans. LOL
The good news? I confused him so much that I had time to make a getaway before things got any worse. The bad news? Walked away, kicking myself for being so afraid of hurting this poor guy's feelings. I have to coach myself all the time. I will probably never see him again. Not the same as being at a meeting, I know. But still. It is OK to say no. Nice and simple. I'm gonna try it out sometime.