I'm Going to Be There For This Kid
by Rick G.
I thought I would take this opportunity to mention something that I noticed again yesterday. I love my new life since I quit drinking and drugging and here's one of the benefits of being straight that maybe some people in early recovery haven't noticed yet. Took me years to catch on, but most seem to see it sooner than I did.
Since all my kids grew up and moved out, I decided to move my office home. I love it (except for the traffic jam in our home) because I get to be at work and home at the same time now half of the time. But the best thing about it is my daughter brings her baby, our granddaughter, over almost every day. I can stop work and go visit.
My wife and I had two kids, but I have little idea what babies are like. You see, I missed most of that part of my kids' life. Oh, I was living at home, but I was more interested in getting loaded, and missed the REAL growing up of my kids. I didn't even realize that until our granddaughter was born about seven months ago. There I was standing in the hospital waiting room thinking "what happens next? When will they come out and give us an update? I'm so new at this and it feels great!" I realized that I had never really held a baby and played with it. I'd never fed one or changed a diaper since they didn't trust me not to drop my kids on the floor, and I'd never even looked at any other babies.
I was around for all the years my kids grew up, but I now realize I wasn't there. And for the last ten years I've been trying to make up for my mistakes by buying cars and things, creating jobs that they could do that I didn't need to have done and giving cash, instead of being there for them. I'm going to BE THERE for this kid and for my own, and for my wife from now on.
Nothing is more important than the people that I love, but I've made them play second to every whim I've ever had. By wasting time being addicted, we shortened our living lives and cheated ourselves and our families out of us.
We're going to have some tough times around here for awhile soon. I'm not looking forward to this event, but I am grateful that I'll be able to participate this time and feel the pain and loss like the rest of the human beings.