It took me a LONG time to get over my ex. Every time I felt lonely or bad about myself I would think about him. It was part of my need to feel loved and valued and I had given that power/responsibility to him. He was obviously not able to do that for me. It has taken me another year to realize that NO ONE can do that for me.
I never understood what "focus on me" meant. I think it means love yourself. Do you think of him all them time or only when you are feeling lonely or bad about yourself like I did? If so are there other things you can do to make yourself feel better? Yoga? friends? some people tried meetings, I never did, but others seem to really like them.
I guess I would start by asking myself - when do I start "missing him?"