I dont think you are being hard on her.
She has to want this with every bone in her body. You cant keep her sober. Only God and herself can do that.
My feeling on this is................... I must do what I can to keep myself sober.
Not everyone has the desire to stay sober as I do. And if my sponsee's want what I have then they must do as I have done.
I am grateful I have had the time with my sponsees. They help me to stay sober. The ones that dont want this program, I have to let go. It is for people who have the desire to stop drinking.
All I can hope for is I have a part in planting the seed. The rest is up to them and their Higher Power.