This is SUCH a good message! How I wish I had known that this attitude was right and acceptable. Back when my AH was drinking, he'd make LOTS of promises and tell me how great things were going to be. Then he'd break those promises. I finally said to him one day after a promise I really wanted him to fulfill, "Talk's cheap". He got pretty angry with me and accused me of trying to hurt him. He basically told me that I'm "willing" the promise not to be made by not being encouraging! So now if he didn't keep his word, it was MY fault!
I'm so thankful I have Al-Anon and these books now, to remind me that I AM doing alright, and to guide me where I need to change and grow. I'm going to continue living by the philosophy that "Talk's cheap" and wait to see what people actually do, not just what they say.
On a happier note, my AH (who hasn't had a drop in over a month) is being more careful about making promises. He will say, "I really want to do the dishes for you today, but I cannot promise they will get done because I also am responsible to do A, B, and C". It's a step in the right direction
