Here's the thing: doctors can only diagnose based on what WE are telling them. You might be wording things so that they will tell you what you want to hear..that you aren't an alcoholic. Only you can say if you are...but kiddo, doesn't it sound like that's the way the cards are being laid out?
Will you die? Yes.
Should you stop? Hell yes.
Should you wait? Are you kidding me? No.
You are an educated, smart person....get your butt further into these forums and do some research in some way to get help. AA doesn't work? Try something else.
However...I had a mental road-block in AA because of the "higher power" stuff. I've found in these forums MANY different versions/interpretations of the higher power...and a lot of them work for me. One person said that "God" to them meant "Group Of Drunks"....that can work for all of us! I'm sure there isn't just one AA group in your area...shop around and find one you feel comfortable in.
You absolutely CAN do this! The thing is, none of us is so unique that we are unable to stop....you just have to want it.
Keep posting...keep reading...things will clear over the next few days as you gain more sober time. And please know that you will only find love, caring, concern, help in these forums. Thinking of you and hoping to read more from you!!!
