Hi again ghal,
Like you, I'm a Christian. I attended church while struggling with my alcoholism. Sat in the pew and listened to our Pastor give a message about integrity when I had none. Every week he'd describe a pathway to a better life of service to others and devotion to God, but I couldn't get over the alcoholism.
I understood what he was saying, I wanted to change, but I couldn't.
What I now believe is that I need contact with others like me, alcoholics...recovering alcoholics. I can find practicing alcoholics any time anywhere and take up right where I left off, but face to face contact with recovering alcoholics is found at AA. I need that.
As nogard said "getting it is a process". My best advice is to not give up. I do know this truth about me, God did not put me on this earth to drink and do drugs, I knew that from day 1, what God does have in mind for me becomes more apparent the longer I stay in recovery.
It's great that you've been offered temporary sponsorship. Put your sobriety first.
All the cliche' sayings are true. When you can't imagine living "One Day At A Time" it's critically important that you trust those around you and try your best to do that.
The miracle of sobriety comes for all who stay...stick around for the miracle!
God's peace