I think Imperfect hits the nail on the head. She usually does!
However, while you are concerned about the things he says is emotionally abusing her, I am thinking of the ways it emotionally abuses the two little ones.
She is old enough to handle her relationship with her father herself, but the kids deserve protection.
I suggest there does need to be a firm boundary set around what is said and done that can be seen or heard by the children.
I have to raise my hat to you! I do not think I could have little ones in my home day in day out. I think a weekend might be too long. Yikes! And I am a grandma! But many states away. I loved raising my babies, but these days my patience is worn thin with the constant attention required to keep young ones.
Hugs,
Live