Prayers that you find a solution.
The only experience I have with this is when my addicted niece and husband were at odds. My husband was very sarcastic to her and she would get crazy angry about it.
I talked to my husband and told him that I could see that he was using the sarcasm as a way to communicate some kind of displeasure with her, but that it would be more effective if he would just say what he means.
I told my niece that her relationship with my husband was hers and while I might be able to suggest that he communicate more directly, he had a right to his opinion and if she didn't like it she could always move out.
I also told the both of them that I wasn't willing to live like that..
And - as a post-script. My husband saw behavior that despite my niece doing things that we thought were positive and telling us she was clean, we recently found out that all the time we thought she was clean, she was still using. So - my husband was right to be concerned about some aspects of her behavior after all. (She's in jail now)
Would your husband go to a meeting with you?
I hope you get the help you need. . . It is so hard to try to take care of an addict and keep the peace on top of everything... I am wondering who takes care of you?
I don't know if this is even a little helpful. It sounds like your situation is a knotch or two more touchy... What do you mean that he treats her like crap - is it verbal