One day at a time. Nothing changes unless you change it. These are some frequent sayings we hear around here, and could probably apply to your situation as well. Plus I like the post about perception.
Here's a funny one. I had cancer a few years ago. I had my last annual CT scan in April of last year. It came back fine. It must have been paranoia, but I have been thinking about this ache in my right rib cage for the last 12 months. Was convinced my cancer was back and had moved to my liver. I've laid in bed worried and obsessed with it for many nights and mornings. I just got my ct results back from my most recent scan. I'm clean again. I was healthy all along. In my mind, I was not. Perception indeed has much to do with our happiness.
Also, I think about some of the people in my life who I'm drawn to the most and try to figure out what it is about them that draws people in. They don't talk much about themselves, but they ask me so many questions and want to talk about my stuff. They look me in the eye and it's as if nobody else is around. When I meet new people, I have to force myself to remember it's not about me. I love the line in Get Shorty when Uma Thurman asks John Travolta something like, "Does he listen to you or is he just waiting for his turn to talk again?".
Anyway, when I practice some of the tools I've learned (which seem to come naturally to others), I can make others feel at ease and smile. That creates a nice situation to come back to, say if you were to sign up for a yoga class, or a photography class, or join a book club or a new Sunday school class for singles. Also, there's a website,
Use the Internet to get off the Internet! - Meetup.com where you can find out where people meet in your city for all different things they have in common, pets, food, hobbies, singles, etc.
Good luck. I know you feel like you are stuck, but you can unstick yourself!