I'm a 76 year old woman who drank for 32 years...wine was my favorite, too, although I had tried just about all of it over the years. I knew how to stop...did it frequently...but never knew how to stay stopped until AA. That was over 28 years ago, and I'm still sober. I come to Sober Recovery because I'm no longer able to get to regular AA meetings...and I still miss them terribly.
You sound like a reasonably intelligent person, so I'm disappointed that you would be so dismissive toward a 73 year old program of recovery that has helped millions of alcoholics. There is a saying that no one is too stupid for AA, but many are too smart for AA. You can argue forever the nature vs nurture theories...bottom line is, if alcohol made us "feel so good", none of us would ever want to quit drinking.
BTW...there are plenty of non-smoking meetings now; and many of the folks bring their own coffee from McDonald's, so they don't have to drink that nasty stuff. After all, the purpose of the meetings is to learn how to stay sober by sharing your experience, strength, and hope...if you manage to find a bit of a social life there, too, so much the better.