question about separating
My husband is a stage one alcoholic (complete denial). I've met with a lawyer and am in the process of documenting my husband's behavior and getting my affairs ready to file. AH is still in the home, though we sleep in separate rooms - which is great for detachment, btw. He knows none of this. He only knows I'm unhappy and have said if he doesn't change his ways I'm gone. I clearly went through a list of things to change (no drinking, no throwing things, etc.) and he quit drinking for two whole days and hasn't thrown things in weeks! Thus, I should be proud of his accomplishments - yeah, right. It's been 6 weeks and he makes sure he opens the beer in front of me... taunting me.
I can't convince him to get help, and I can't allow myself and DD to continue this way. I'm over it. I'm over him. I'm convinced we'll be happier without him than with him. I only have two cards left to play, separation and divorce. I'm going to play the separation card first because it will work in my favor come filing time. Anyway, I refuse to live like this. The only way I can quit being his enabler is to separate from him.
Of course, inside I'm hopeful that I'll kick him out, and he'll magically be healed, go into counseling, look like the Diet Coke guy, and whisk me away on a white horse into the sunset. I know that's not going to happen, but a girl's gotta have dreams right? But what's the possibility that he'll actually go to counseling? or to an AA meeting? The Alanon people here and my therapist say that A on average makes three good attempts (and hundreds of false starts) at quitting before they actually do.
I haven't asked my counselor yet, but should I expect a good attempt after separating? Cause that's going to be hard to resist.
What is your experience with separating?