hi. i'm new to this site too. i know how you feel about not liking AA. who wants to admit defeat, right? but honestly you'll be able to pick apart pretty much any program you approach--the point is that what you're doing now isn't working for you at all. when i first went to meetings i would look at people and just see how i wasn't like them, because i never did this or that or because of age/racial/religious differences. but now i fight to look for the similarities between us, because we're all there to try and stay sober and show each other support. good luck to you.