Good for you!
You mention your mom and I've been thinking about my family a lot lately. My ancestors didn't fight out on the plains, negotiate peace treaties, and learn how to thrive in a world they'd never known, just so their descendants could become dependent on anything or anyone. By the way I'm American Indian.
I could write a book about my family, detailing all they went through from four generations ago. My ancestors thrived despite insurmountable odds and they did their best to make sure their children did too. They didn't do it by wringing their hands and asking "why?" every time something went wrong.
They didn't enable their loved ones and if they ever had a victim mentality they didn't verbalize it, that was considered shameful. It took me a while to remember I'm not a victim; I'm a survivor and it's in my genes. It's my birthright, it's everyone's birthright.
It feels great to be on this side of the fence. There's quicksand on the other side and I finally got tired of sinking in it.