Good Morning Everyone!
My big question is, where is the guilt that our alcohies should be feeling for how they treat us? Last night was a terrible night once again for me. My AH started fussing because noone had vacuumed the living room floor. Also, he was angry because I did not cook anything for him. The night before I spent an hour and a half cooking a home cooked meal (after having worked all day and an hour commute home) and didnt even get a thank you, I enjoyed, help cleaning up, NOTHING! There were left overs from the night before and he was angry that he would have to fry a little piece of ham and that I was already sitting down eating my dinner. Then he proceeds to fuss at me because the truck company called wanting a payment on HIS truck (its all in my name but its HIS truck when he's driving it, mine when he's late with payments) and I didnt answer the phone. Then he screams and curses me at the top of his lungs telling me how stupid, what a dummy I am, how sorry I am cause I didn't vacuum or tell my sons to do it. He gets in my face screaming. Then my 18 yr old son comes into the room and asks him will he please quit screaming and hollering at his mother. He completely shut up. I mean wisdom from an 18yr old to a 45 yr old grown man! Then later, while he was eating, he was screaming in my face and I told him do not get in my face. Then he cursed me, I was the worst sorriest person on earth, and he threw an entire salt shaker of salt on me. I was shocked. I walked out. I just looked at him in disbelief. Then he proceeded to tell me that when I come back the front door will be locked. Which it wasnt. I slept on the couch and at 3:30 this morning he woke me up to tell me to come in bed. I hesitated and did it anyway and told him, I definetly did not want to even be close to him because of the way he treated him. He usually wakes me up when he leaves for work and calls me on my way to work. Nothing this morning. Not even a note saying I'm sorry. Also, in his tyraid, he proceeded to tell me how bad he wanted me gone and that he wished I would have a wreck and die on the way to work this morning. i checked his truck this morning and found his cooler with only ONE beer in it. Which means most likely he bought at least a 12 pack. Yesterday I had also called him and his phone said, "The subscriber you have dialed has traveled out of range." He said he was at his parents house and noone gets a signal there. His phone NEVER says that when he's there. It always goes straight to voice mail. His phone does say they when he drives to the state line to buy beer. We live in a dry city and the state line is only about 20 minutes away. So what I want to know, where is his guilt that he should feel? Does these people have in dignity at all? I am sooooo angry and hurt all at once!!!
