It makes me feel guilty. If I had a problem I wouldn't want anyone to walk out on me! Ive done my share. I am moving out of our house so he has nowhere to come "home" too. I don't give him money anymore. I'm tired of having to CUT MYSELF OFF FROM MY LOVE FOR HIM because he is messed up! I want him in bed everynight. I want to see him every morning. I miss him. That's all there is to it. I guess it's him being selfish because he's the one causing me too give all this up and depriving myself of what I give to him....
It's just so much easier to take it.
I don't like being alone. I absolutely hate it. I've always been alone. And yes, you're right I am an adult - but I am also human and don't just want to "move onto the next" because he "wasn't good enough." Who am I too say that I am too good for anyone? I have issues, I have caused problems....
It's just a big back and forth worthless time in life for me. I feel like I would just rather take it than have a broken heart for breaking his.