Originally Posted by
CatsPajamas 
There are still days when I think I might have the answer for someone else's problems. I can see it so very clearly - if he'd only do THIS then his life would be better !!
My son has a great job opportunity in another city - about 700 miles away. It's a terrific offer, and it would allow him to grow in his career. He's balking at the idea because of a gf who doesn't want to move away from her family etc etc.
He's a grown man. I can't make his decisions for him. All I can do is offer my experience, strength and hope, and toss in a few things he might want to think about. And then I have to focus on something else so I don't obsess about HIS situation. As frustrating as it is, it's just not about me.
This so hit home today Cat thank you for this! And it is amazing how no matter how much recovery we have sometimes it comes back to us the old thoughts/patterns but, today being aware that it has is a great gift that I have been given!
This thought just ran through my head over the past week-as I have many things going on at once and the boyfriend has not been there really-(Probably as I sit back because he has a lot on his plate with his life (His side of the street is kind of messy too at the moment) I said these words to myself:
There are still days when I think I might have the answer for someone else's problems. I can see it so very clearly - if he'd only do THIS then his life would be better !!
And the truth is that life will only be better if I DO for ME and when my ducks are in a row it gives my relationship with him or anyone else less stress between us....and more understanding-If I act with chaos and respond with snaps and digs then that is what I will create for myself-
I have come far with my side of the street and "everyone" elses side of the street-and I know today as long as mine is kept clean it is not up to me to clean anyone elses and I live with a lot more peace in my life...
Thank you for this Cat!
