solost08 - I can so relate to your 2nd to last sentence (and about the entire picture really)
"While hes off visiting having a great time im here in fear and turmoil about the future, and he wants act like nothing happened , which i know is a very bad sign"
My g/f has been talking about NA for a few weeks now. Tonight she basically told me she decided to hang with her family and do drugs rather than see me. Man, that hurt a bit. It was also a smack in the face. Usually she just avoids me or blames something on me. I think this is the first time she actually put it right out there like that.
"im sitting here asking myself why even put up with this?" Me too (sigh). I get a little closer everyday to pulling the plug. Seems like there is just little to hold onto anymore. I learned (finally) to not put up a fight, but it still leaves me with an empty heart. I can't speak for you, but it seems like I have as much of an addiction to my g/f as she does to Pot. Everytime I feel like calling her or lashing out I keep it in check and compare it to withdrawl. It's helping me get distance and ulitimately it seems like she will not get it together and I will need to move on.
2 things I have read here over and over that I like are "nothing changes, if nothing changes", and that "you will leave when you are ready to leave".
Thinking about you..
