Dont even know where to start
Well I dont even know where to start. Me and My boyfriend had been friends for over a year. I knew that he was going through some stuff with coke and crack but thought it was in the past for him ( i think i thought i could keep him out of trouble.. STUPID ME) I myself have done drugs recreationally but could leave it at that. I dont think that I got the full picture and depth of his problem and always thought that when his parents were calling to see where he was becuz he hadnt come home that night, they were totally over reacting. I thought it was excessive, I mean he wasn't doing it anymore. I now found out that the first time i went over to his parents house for dinner, and the first time i got to meet his sister he was late because he was doing crack. He was sweating and couldnt even eat and we just thought he was sick. My point to that is he had moved in with me basically while lying to me that he wasnt doing it anymore. That was pretty much around the same time he moved in. he had disappeared for a night, and i thought he was just drunk and not able to drive, he told me otherwise. He was always very honest about doing drugs for some reason. The last time was a 2 day bender where I and some other friends got to drive around town looking for him. I was at work basically crying and had to go home because i couldnt keep it together long enough to be of any use. He took his bike in the middle of the night while i was sleeping (he had done this before) and traded it for crack. The next day he came home while i was at work and grabbed his video camera and some other things to pawn. Again I had to leave work cuz i was just broken and he had told my mom to tell me he would be back later. I came home, told my mom everything couldnt lie anymore. He came home like 6 that evening. I hugged him i thought i was going to punch him, talked to him and then i made him call AADAC ( i already been talking to someone earlier becuz i didnt know what to do) we went the next day to a counselor, and he seemed like he was prepared to do whatever it took. Well, seems like that changed. He didnt go to any group meetings (which i understand becuz i personally dont want to go to group family meetings) and actually went home for a 3 week visit. My problem is im hurt, i dont trust him, i love him to death but he seems to think being back home sober is a true feat. Which it is but its not reality and Im so scared for when he comes back. Ive told him this. He tells me he doesnt want to do it anymore. you know, I dont even have a question after writing this out. I was hoping the reason he was such selfish jerk was becuz of the drugs, but im begining to think its just him. While hes off visiting having a great time im here in fear and turmoil about the future, and he wants act like nothing happened , which i know is a very bad sign. This is for him to fix, Its for him to make up to me.