Rosie, The thing is that you are involved "emotionally". Maybe your ex will take over here as someone suggested. Trying to understand our A kids is pointless I think. We try and try and it just doesn't come out right. It is time to stop the insanity of the worry about them and worry about you and the stress your under. I have had to move out from under my stress and I am trying to be free of it. You can do this too, your sone will see the light when he wants to. (((hugs))