Originally Posted by
anubus 
Thank you Starting Over for this post. I REALLY needed to hear this. You are not alone in feeling the way you do.
I think I honestly let myself get away with..... "at least I'm better than him..."
How sad is that comparison, but it allowed myself to ignore my crap for long time.
I actually don't live in a very unique or greatly different place, but I FEEL so different now and really like who I've become.
My RAH could become the next pope and I'll still know that I'm great, so I don't have to be responsible or who he is or who he's not.
I used to be embarrassed or apologize for his behavior and now I can truly let him be him. Probably the only compromise I've made in this area has been when I realized he drove a carpool of soccer kids while drinking and I felt that I needed the other parents to be aware that if he's the one they pick for driving, someone needs to be responsible to make sure he's sober!!!! Even that, I felt that I was able to do that with respect that he has other great qualities and that doesn't totally define him.